Gross

My niece Whitney is a funny girl. Whit is mild-mannered and droll. She is very smart and very much a smart ass. Even as a small child, Whitney was always very sarcastic, dry, subdued. She is very calm and has always taken things very literally.



Whitney is my oldest niece, the oldest grandchild in our family. Whit is Tegan's twin sister and, other than sharing the same birthday, and that special twin-love for each other, they have very little in common. Tegan is very dramatic. Very frou-frou. Girly. A conversation with her includes lots of hand motions and raised eyebrows and a fair number of "oh-my-gosh"s and high fives. Tegan is funny, too, but in a different way. She tells big, exaggerated stories. Whitney, on the other hand....the only exaggerated thing about her is her exaggerated calm. Whit is very chill, and nothing gets her too wound up.


When Whitney was in the 4th grade, my sister Carrie (her mother) came home from work one day to find that Whitney's finger was hugely swollen and bruised-black. She couldn't bend it and was in quite a bit of pain. Carrie asked her what she had done and Whitney said she jammed it playing basketball before school. Carrie was, understandably, upset that Whit's hand looked like this and she was just now finding out about it. She asked her if she had gone to the school nurse. Whitney said she went to the nurse when it first happened and they taped it and told her to come back if it turned blue. When Carrie asked her why she didn't go back to the nurse, Whit said, "Because it didn't turn blue...it turned black."


So knowing that that is quintessential Whitney, the events of yesterday morning should not come as a surprise to anyone. Whit works as an intern at my office. Yesterday morning, when she came to work, she had a bandage on her hand. She explained the bandage by saying that the night before, she had been at a friend's house and scratched her hand. Umm. Ok.


A bit later, she was looking in the first aid supplies for some neosporin and I offered to help her. She said it didn't bleed much and it didn't really hurt but she wanted to keep it clean. She took off the band aid to show me her scratch. Here's Whitney's scratch.

As one might imagine, I went and got her mother who took her to the Acute Care where she got her "scratch" stitched up.

Today's Quote:

"So reports of my madness, as they say, were greatly exaggerated. Not that I give a bugger either way." -David Icke