So the last several months have gone something like this:
Ankle Surgery
Hospital Stay
Christmas
Back to Work
No Blogging
Long and Tedious Recovery
Ridiculously Overwhelming Case of the Blues
Stressful Work
Still No Blogging
Guilt Over Neglecting the Blog
Continued Tedious Recovery, Lots of Walking on Crutches
Crying/Hiding in a Corner
Going to Work
Sleeping
And for more than 3 months, I didn’t read any blogs and I didn’t check my email (that was a mess) and I only answered my phone when I knew who was calling – and even then, not all the time. I didn’t go to knitting at the yarn shop on Wednesday nights, though people call and offered to drive me when I couldn’t. Then I felt guilty for ignoring people which made me feel worse and made me cry more.
It was weird, I felt like I was walking around in someone else’s skin, looking at everything from the outside. Clearly, it has been a difficult several months. It wasn’t one particular thing that kept me from blogging. It was a whole combination of little difficulties and for a while I lost my motivation and, honestly, I was kind of hiding from the world. I wouldn’t say I was “depressed” per say but probably, that’s what it was. In retrospect I should have talked to my doctor about it but it was sort of like waking up in a really dark cave – you know it is dark but you have no idea why or where you’re at.
And I’ve missed my blog – and everyone else’s blogs - and I’ve missed the people and the longer I’ve gone without blogging, the more I’ve missed it and the more guilty I’ve felt. And I’ve wanted to respond to emails but after such a long silence, I’ve felt obligated to write something worthwhile and I just haven’t been able to muster up the motivation to write it all down. Plus, after ignoring the whole world for a while, there’s the fear that you’ve (I’ve) been gone so long that no one even WANTS to hear from you anymore, which only makes you feel worse and less motivated.
Thanks so much to all of you who left me comments and emails. When I finally read them all, it was really wonderful and made me feel much better.
Even now, I am still working hard at being in a good frame of mind. For instance, last night at knitting (I finally went for the first time since December) one of the ladies told me that Stephanie Pearl-McPhee is going to be two hours away on Saturday and I desperately wanted to have other plans so I could hide out at home by myself. But then I opened my mouth to respond and before I knew it, I’d said I would go. So I’m going with Deb to the Maker Fair on Saturday.
All angst and anxiety and tears aside, I decided it is high time to post something on my blog – even if it isn’t exciting or useful or meaningful or anything else – and just hope someone reads it.
NOW BACK TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING
So enough about that.
I’ve been doing a little knitting lately. I didn’t do any knitting for most of the months of January, February and March. Since then, though, I’ve finished one of Lori’s socks but I haven’t finished my felted Loopy Ewe. I’ve learned to knit Entrelac (The Knitter’s Bible is a super fabulous book. The directions are clear and concise and practical.) I learned the technique and liked it so much, I knitted a pillow top out of some Misti Alpaca Pima Cotton Silk I had. It is pretty (the yarn and the technique) – and I love it (the pillowtop). I’ll take a picture and show you tomorrow.
I’ve knit some more little socks. So cute.
I’ve knit some hats. I’m planning to knit a hat everyday this month. And I’m going to beg ya’ll to knit some hats, too. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow.
Saturday the trip to see the Yarn Harlot. That will be fun. I’m jazzed, since I missed her when she was in Petaluma last year.
I’ve missed ya’ll so much. I think I’m well on my way to getting back in the swing of things. Now I just need to get caught up on my blog reading.
Today's Quote:
"Alexander, Caesar, Charlemagne, and I myself have founded empires; upon what do these creations of our genius depend? Upon force! Jesus Christ alone founded his empire upon love; and to this day, millions would die for Him." -Napoleon Bonaparte
