Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Blogging is a Minefield

My husband has this particular friend. For the sake of his privacy, I’ll call him Fester.

Several months ago, I found out that Fester reads this blog. I didn’t think much of it, other than to think it was kind of funny since he doesn't knit, and then I sort of forgot about it. My blog is not a secret. I don’t go out of my way to publicize it but I certainly don’t hide it from anyone and I would say that most people who know me know about the blog. Most people I know likely haven’t visited this blog because they could care less about knitting...which explains the blog’s very existence...but I digress.

Fester and my husband have been friends for several years. I can’t remember how many. Mr. used to work with Fester and still does work for him occasionally. When they were working together, Fester and his wife and the Mr. and I used to socialize more. I really like his wife and I have always liked Fester, though we don’t spend much time together, which is unfortunate. As far as I know, I have never been anything but pleasant to Fester. If I have been otherwise, I was probably only kidding.

Ya’ll know, if you’ve read more than say two entries on this blog, that I fully acknowledge my lack of coolness. This is not something new. I have never been particularly cool or hip and I am completely ok with that. I drive the speed limit, I completely stop at stop signs. I didn’t drink until I was 21. I’m not terribly capable when it comes to fashion and my all time favorite song is Key Largo, by Bertie Higgins. It was a big hit when it first came out…in1982. I do origami and I take pictures of yarn in the grass in my front yard, sometimes late at night. At best, I fall into the “hip to be square” category, at worst the "painfully lame" category.

My point is that I am fully aware of my idiosyncrasies and I generally embrace that. I can joke about it and I am even ok with being teased about it. I am generally a good sport when people mock my knitting (I figure they just don’t understand) and Lord knows I’ll talk about it to anyone who even mentions knitting or my blog or sewing or crafts or whatever. And when I talk about knitting and people make that “oh man, she’s really into this, what a lame ass” face, I just smile and pretend not to notice.

So for all my big I’m-ok-your-ok talk, I am also kind of tender-hearted. I don’t mind being harassed and/or mocked to my face but it does bother me to know that someone, someone I consider a friend, is making fun of me behind my back. What really bothers me is when my husband or anyone else finds themselves in the position of defending me or my knitting or my blog or my lameness. As much as I’d like to say otherwise, it hurts my feelings and maybe even bruises my ego a bit, when I hear that someone is basically talking smack about me because they’ve read my little knitting blog. It robs a little bit of the joy.

I guess the upshot of all this is: If Fester wants to read my blog, obviously that is fine. I put it out there on the big bad internet because I want people to read it. If he wants to mock me for my knitting, that is ok, too. In fact, he should feel free to mock me in the comments here or call me up and point and laugh when I say things like “fibery goodness” but honestly, he is a smart and successful man. He owns a successful business, has a beautiful home, nice cars and a beautiful, successful, wonderful wife. Surely he has better things to do with his time and considerable energy than to give my husband shit because I knit and talk about it too enthusiastically on the internet.

One thing is for damn sure: Fester is not getting handknit socks for Christmas.
Today's Quote:
"I like people and I like them to like me, but I wear my heart where God put it, on the inside." - F. Scott Fitzgerald


Happy Mama to Three said...

Buy him Target socks and a bar of Zest. Oooo was that me being bitchie. I am never bitchie.


Nora said...

He's bored. Obviously.
Or perhaps he has a secret crush on you - you know, like in primary school when the boys used to make fun of the girls they secretly liked, in order to appear cool. :)

daaydream said...

LOL ... first off ... if blogging knit was so uncool... how come so many people are doing it?? Huh?
I have really enjoyed getting to know you, and you've certainly helped me through some rough times lately. I hope that helps.


Rose Red said...

Well said.
And what Fester says or does says more about him than you!

marit said...

Fester is obviously jealous. Please pay no attention to him!
I really enjoy your blog, I like the way you write, and I certainly appreciate your knitting.

RobynR said...

Hmmmmm, Fester clearly needs more to do with his time if he feels it necessary to seek out your writings and take the time to mock you. How very sad for him. I wonder if he realizes how pathetic it is that he's wasting time and energy picking on someone for having a passion.
Bah. There are muggles and then there are Durselys. I'm sorry you have to put up with one.

Ruth said...

Definitely a Dursley! Blech.

Charity said...

Aw, I'm sorry, Kristy. Sometimes people just do things that suck. I love the fibery goodness you share - don't stop because someone can't let someone else have fun they don't understand. :0)

Kniterella said...

Just imagine how successful Fester's life could be...if only he knit!

Tactless Wonder said...

How aggravating. It really is one thing for him to say things to you about your blog, but really how juvenile to give your husband a hard time about it. It really does seem like something a 12 YO would do (and I used to teach them), give a guy a hard time for something his girlfriend/SO/wife(in your case). That kind of behavior is uncalled for. Maybe he is jealous, and 12. He needs to grow up.

Cathy said...

Hooray for your husband for standing up for his wife's passion and now you know, sadly, that you have one less true "friend". I am sorry for your hurt but awfully glad that you have this wonderful blog. Please don't let someone who obviously has a need to put another person down to feel good about themselves take the joy out of your passion.

FFC said...

I am sad for "Fester" that he has nothing better to do but read your blog and make fun of you. What a sad life he must live.

Anyone that really "knows" the real Kristy just rolls along with your craziness.

Obviously, the wonderful life you describe that he has isn't all that wonderful if he reads your blog for fun. Not to mention that he makes fun of you to the people that love you. Seriously, the loser should get a hobby.

Sad. Very Sad.

Also, it makes me question how he found your blog in the first place? Did he google your name? It's not something you just happen to find.

RC said...

He's jealous. You are more interesting/funny/considerate and brave for putting yourself out there so he must mock. Why read unless he is really interested? Has nothing better to do? or seceretly wants to knit but cannot?

I'm all letsgetinhisface and call him on it next time in public. Seems like more his problem.

WE love you. He gets nothing.

meg said...

Alternatly laughing & steaming- blogging knitters (or knitting bloggers) are an awesome force of nature & some people (*ahem* Fester) can't understand the joy & passion we share. Too bad for him & those like him, missing out on a sweet part of living.

Stefaneener said...

Wow. What a painfully juvenile thing to deal with. Makes me think of the song by Bowling with Soup, "High School Never Ends."

Good for your spouse.

Dorothy said...

Good grief. What a prince of a guy. Maybe that's a frog that should never have been kissed but left to splash around in the swamps.

Dusa said...

Fester, honey - you been outed! Were you the kind of guy who read your sister's diary or the notes that made their way past you in study hall and then told everyone else? Cause dude? It was bad form and highly repugnant then and still is now. So stop, mmmmkay?